Best funny sms text messages and jokes collection

Tag: funny husband wife jokes

Man received message from neighbor

A man received a message from his neighbor:
Sorry sir, I am using your wife… day and night.. when you are not present at home… In fact, much more than you do.
I confess this now because I am feeling very guilty. Hope you will accept my sincere apologies.

The man shot his wife..
A few minutes later he received another message:
Sorry sir, a spelling mistake.. I meant wifi.

Funny Lie Detector

A woman buys a lie detector robot that slaps those people who lie. She decides to test it at dinner. She asks hes son, “Son, where were you today during school hours?” “At school.” The robot slaps the son. “Okay, I went to the movies!” The father asks, “Which one?” “Harry Potter.” The robot slaps the son again. “Okay, I was watching porn!” The father replies, “What? When I was your age I didn’t even know what porn was!” The robot slaps the father. The mom chimes in, “Haha! After all, he is your son!” The robot slaps the mother.

Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi

Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi,
Mein bolta tha wo sunti thi,

Phir woh meri mangetr bani,
Woh bolti thi mein sunta tha

Jab se woh meri BIWI bani,
Hum dono bolte hain
muhalla sutna hai

Wow! itni lambi celebration

Wife: Wo samay jo admi drink ker raha hai,
usko main nay 10 saal pehlay shadi k
liye inkaar kia tha.
Aaj tak sharab pee raha hay!

Husband: Wow! itni lambi celebration!

Your husband needs rest

Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest
and peace so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor:They are for you.!!

Isi lie to jannat kehte hain

Wife:Suna he k jannat me husband
k sath Wife ko nahi rehne dete
HUSBAND! sahi suna he,
Wife: aisa kion?
Husband: Arey pagli isi liye to
usey jannat kehte hain

Wo kia cheez hay

Wo kia cheez hay
Jo biwi apnay husband ko sari umar nahi deti
Bar bar magney per bhi nain deti.
Aur yeh illegal bhi nain hy??
Come on yar?

Message of the year

Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple…
A woman does not have a wife..!!!

Too late for garbage

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?

Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

Meri maa mujhey pizza lenay bhejay gi?

Tofani barish mein rat ko,
shop per 1 admi pizza lenay aaya
SHOPKEEPER: Aap married hein?
Admin:Is tofani barish mein kia
meri maa mujhey pizza lenay bhejay gi?

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