Best funny sms text messages and jokes collection

Tag: Dirty Jokes

Differences in Sexes

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

Man received message from neighbor

A man received a message from his neighbor:
Sorry sir, I am using your wife… day and night.. when you are not present at home… In fact, much more than you do.
I confess this now because I am feeling very guilty. Hope you will accept my sincere apologies.

The man shot his wife..
A few minutes later he received another message:
Sorry sir, a spelling mistake.. I meant wifi.

A Christmas tree

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

Khubsurat Ladki Apne Bacche ko DOODH

Khubsurat Ladki Apne Bacche ko DOODH Pilaate
Huwe Boli…!
“Pee le
Pura Mohalla in ke Liye Pagal hai aur Tere Nakhre
Nahi Khatam Hote.?

It’s too tight

Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

Itnay saray bachay aik sath

Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay
saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?

Kid: Miss agar aap road pay billi ki
tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayega…

I want to suck you … lick you

I want to suck you … lick you … wanna move my tongue all over you … wanna feel you in my mouth … yep, that’s how you … eat an ice cream!

aaj tumhein akeiley mein….

aaj tumhein akeiley mein…
le ja kar…
apney hontoon se eik…
kissa sunaon bili aur chohey ka……….

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