A woman buys a lie detector robot that slaps those people who lie. She decides to test it at dinner. She asks hes son, “Son, where were you today during school hours?” “At school.” The robot slaps the son. “Okay, I went to the movies!” The father asks, “Which one?” “Harry Potter.” The robot slaps the son again. “Okay, I was watching porn!” The father replies, “What? When I was your age I didn’t even know what porn was!” The robot slaps the father. The mom chimes in, “Haha! After all, he is your son!” The robot slaps the mother.
A man kills a deer
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, “Well it’s what Mommy calls me sometimes.” The little girl screamed to her brother, “Don’t eat it. Its an asshole!
Adam and Eve made babies
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
A Christmas tree
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
Aik pathan ne Veena Malik
Aik pathan ne Veena Malik se masjid ka chanda manga.
Veena : ap log to kehte hen k mera paisa naapak hai?
Pathan : tumhary paison se hum BATHROOM banaey gy..;-)
Humsafri ka bojh uthana parta hai
Humsafri ka bojh uthana parta hai,
Dil ko duh ke sath chalana parta hai,
Hum jese awaara dil logon ko bhi,
Koi na koi qaul* nibhana parta hai,
Kabhi kabhi ik dard bhari siskaari se,
Khamoshi ko zakham lagana parta hai,
Sanattey mehfooz rakhe hain seeney mein,
Weeraani ka hath battana parta hai,
Pehle karna parta hai ik jungle saaf,
Uss ke baad ik sheher basaana parta hai,
Roz humain yadon ke ghaur samandar mein,
Raat gaye ik deep jalana parrta hai,
Pardon ka ik khail sajaana parta hai,
Aik uthaana aik giraana parta hai,
Tanhai mein bhi rehna majboori hai,
Logon mein bhi aana jana parta hai..
Aik qatra malaal bhi boya nahin geya
Aik qatra malaal bhi boya nahin geya,
Woh khauf tha ke logon se roya nahin geya,
Yeh sach hai ke teri bhi neendain ujarr gayin,
Tujh se bichar ke hum se bhi soya nahin geya,
Us raat tu bhi pehle sa apna nahin laga,
Us raat khul ke mujhse bhi roya nahin geya,
Daman hai khushk, ankh bhi chup chaap hai bohat,
Larriyon mein aansuyon ko piroya nahin geya,
Alfaaz talkh, baat ka andaaz sard hai,
Pichlaa malaal aaj bhi goya nahin geya,
Ab bhi kahin kahin pe hai kalakh lagi huyi,
Ranjish ka daagh theek se dhoya nahin geya..
Barbaad Howey , Badnaam Howey
Barbaad Howey , Badnaam Howey
Ek Teri Tamanna ki khatir..
Yeh Duniya To Hamari Ho Na Saki
Ek Tum Hi Hamary Ho jaaty
Aaj us ne dard bhi apne
Aaj us ne dard bhi apne elhaada kar liye,
Aj bhi roya to mere sath woh roya na tha..
My Wishes are Always with U
Everyday,
Everywhere,
Every time,
I may Not be with U,
But My Thinking,
My Care, My Msgs, My Prayers,
&
My Lovely Wishes R Always with U.