Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?” The interviewer replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”
Tag: funny joke
Long Enough
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, “Mypenis,” and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, “Error. Not long enough.”
Upset kyun lag rahe ho
killer one………………. Married Man Bechara Dukhi bhi nahi ho sakta….
Wife: I love you baby..
Husband (softly) : I love you too..
Wife : Upset kyun lag rahe ho….??
Husband : Bas thoda mood off tha..
Wife:Doston ke saath to bare khush rehte ho,
aur mere saath hi drame..
Husband (pyar se) : Aisa kuch nahi jaanu,
tabiyat thori theek nahi hai..
Wife: Haan abhi dost phone karega to 2 sec mein tabiyat theek ho jayegi..
Husband: Dost kahan se aa gaye, mera mood thora upset hai bas..
Wife: Mere saath hi ye sab hota hai, friends ke saath enjoy karte ho,
bari has has ke pictures click karwate ho.
Ya koi aur larki pasand aa gayi..??
Husband (aur zyada pyar se) : arrey, kahan se kahan baat le jaa rahi ho..?
Wife: Aaj sab clear hoga !!
Husband: Kya clear karna hai jaanu, aisa kya ho gaya..??
Wife (khud confused) : Jab tum khud clear nahi, tumhe kuch pata nahi to main kya bolun..!!
Husband : Tumhe hua kya hai ?? kis baat pe upset ho ??
Batao!!
Wife: Tumhari sangat hi kharab hai !!
Husband: Mere saath to tum ho!!
Wife: Ab bohot ho gaya, ab aur nahi!!
Husband (fully crashed) : Hua kya hai ? ye to bata do..
Wife: Hum ab saath nahi reh sakte?..
Husband: Ye baat kahan se aayi?..
Wife: I want Divorce..
Husband: Ok..!!
Wife (gone crazy) : Haan, yehi chahte ho tum to, fir tum jo marzi kar sako..
Husband: Arrey tumne khudhe bola abhi, maine kya galat kaha..??
Wife: Itni problem thi to bola kyun nahi, main khud bina bole chali jaati tumhari life se..
Husband (apne baal pakad kar) : Mujhe meri galti to bata do..
Wife: Waqt aane pe pata chalegi tumhe apne aap, jab main chali jaungi..
Husband:(confused) Acha, to main wait karta hoon sahi waqt ka..
Wife: Tum serious kab hoge..??
Husband: Ab kya hospital mein admit ho jaun,
serious hone ke liye?..
Wife:Go to hell..!! Dont call me again !!.
Husband:(shocked)
AFTER 3 HOURS..
Wife: Tumhe pata hai na, main tumhare bina nahi reh sakti jaanu,
sorry !!! I love you my baby..
Husband (Sab bhool kar) : Acha, I love you tooo…
Wife: Upset kyun lag rahe ho ?…………… !!!!
Doosri shaadi karne ke 4 tareeke
Doosri shaadi karne ke 4 tareeke
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Bahut speed me neche aaye ho..
pehle ek ko to handle kar lo. 
Funny Lie Detector
A woman buys a lie detector robot that slaps those people who lie. She decides to test it at dinner. She asks hes son, “Son, where were you today during school hours?” “At school.” The robot slaps the son. “Okay, I went to the movies!” The father asks, “Which one?” “Harry Potter.” The robot slaps the son again. “Okay, I was watching porn!” The father replies, “What? When I was your age I didn’t even know what porn was!” The robot slaps the father. The mom chimes in, “Haha! After all, he is your son!” The robot slaps the mother.
A man kills a deer
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, “Well it’s what Mommy calls me sometimes.” The little girl screamed to her brother, “Don’t eat it. Its an asshole!
Adam and Eve made babies
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
Aik pathan ne Veena Malik
Aik pathan ne Veena Malik se masjid ka chanda manga.
Veena : ap log to kehte hen k mera paisa naapak hai?
Pathan : tumhary paison se hum BATHROOM banaey gy..;-)
2 Dost suicide kernay gayai
2 Dost Suicide kernay gayai,
Pahala : “Hey Bhagwan mujhey
dunia ki saari nafrat de Pareshani
de Dukh de!”
Dusra dost : “Abe tu maut maang
raha hai k Microsoft main Job.”
Our love is heard like a ring tone.
In my heart our love is heard like a ring tone.
In my ears Ur speech is heard like voice mail.
But when I called for response
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